Recipe - 糯米饭

This may not make much sense but here it goes, for those interested. As in all of my recipes, pls view the measurements with a pinch of salt and just go with your guts, cos they are just rough estimation (i tend to just grab and pinch and pour).

糯米饭

Ingredients:
2 cups of glutinous rice (soaked for at least 2 hours)
2-3 shallots (chopped)
8-10 dried shitake mushrooms (soaked and cut into strips) - save the water
2/3 cup of dried shimps (soaked and drained)
100g of pork (with abit of fat on them, cut into strips) - amount varies and optional (depending on personal preference)

2 tsp Oil
2 tsp Salt
2-3 tbsp Dark soya sauce (I am using the sticky sweet type)

Steps:
1) Drained the glutinous rice and mix in the salt evenly (taste and adjust salt accordingly) then leave it aside

2) Fry the pork with a little oil till the fat is slightly crisp and done. Take out and leave aside.

3) With the remaining oil in the work, fry the shallots till fragrant and add the dried shrimps. Fried till you get the shrimpy aroma (i add in little bit of water to the sides the wok from time to time and cover for a bit).

4) Toss in the mushrooms and stir fry it till soft. Add in the dark soya sauce and abit more water to get a bit of the sauce going.

5) When the shrimp/mushroom/shallot mixture is cooked, stir in the glutinous rice in medium heat and add water till rice is covered. Stir continously till water is absorbed and rice start to become 'gooey'. This is the part where 'when you see it, you will know".

6) At this point, you can stir in the pork till well mixed so that the end result will get a nice porky taste (but also abit more oily) or you could scoop out the rice into a round pan and lay the pork on top of the rice. Steam the rice for 45mins.

7) Garnish with some spring onions and serve with ikan bilis/peanut with belachan on the side.

糯米飯 and my mom

Made this for a gathering tomorrow. Would have made it on the day itself except we will be busy the whole afternoon cos' one of my ex-colleague (now one of the SIA gals) smsed to say that she will be in town for a day tomorrow, and asked if we could catch up before she flew back to SG.

Making 糯米饭 was sort of an accidental thing. Wilkie has been clamouring for one of those tier-steamer thingy for the longest time becos he is adamant in perfecting his 鸡蛋糕, which he insist didn't "发" as well as it should due to the fact that steaming it in the wok just doesn't provide adequate space for it's 'growth'. Ah so we made a trip to Richmond yesterday, to one of those Chinese household goods store we had passed by before, and procured the necessary steamer so that my dear hubs can continue on his quest to his perfect 鸡蛋糕. But before he could do that, we were faced with the question of what to bring as a dish to the potluck gathering. I've decided on 糯米饭 becos' Wilkie bought a small pack of glutinous rice the other day, as a means to persuade me to get a steamer. You have to admire that devious mind of his becos' i did not want to have a steamer in the first place as i have no wish to be eating anymore 鸡蛋糕. But he knew i like glutinous rice and to convince me on the purchase, swayed me by saying that we can make glutinous rice too! Ahhh..... it is hard to deny a man his wish when his heart is set on 鸡蛋糕...

Anyway... i have a vague idea of how to make 糯米饭 after tasting the yummy creations of my mom's over the years. I tried sourcing other recipes online but nothing looked like what she did. So i called her and asked her for her recipe, and coupled with my vague memories, sought to recreate the same thing. This reminded me so much of my days studying in London which is when i started to cook properly for the first time, being far away from home (and those who do the cooking - i.e. mom and maid). I remembered i would try to make everything from what i've seen my mom/maid made before. The easy stuff isn't too difficult... i guess i DID pick up a thing or two just by being my mom's official tester (she seem to trust my taste bud more than anyone's in the family). But for the complicated stuff, i would brave the cost of an expensive overseas call to clarify with her on a few points of the recipes.

Actually, it is not easy trying to get a recipe out of my mom and -understand- it, if you have never watched her cook before. Becos' like me, she doesn't really bother with measurements. So what you get is alot of ...

"remember what i did with the meat? ya.. just add the sauce until you think enough... and then stir until done. Ah you know should know how it look like right?... don't forget to add the pork last... but if you can also add in before... the amount you see yourself la... you will know when you see it..."

There. No mention of the timing or the measurements of the ingredients/cordiments, and a jumble of the cooking sequences. So to get the full picture of the recipe, you have to either have seen the process before or ask very intelligent questions. But that said, my mom is what i would call an inituitive cook and a pretty darn good one. She cooks without reference to cookbooks or written recipes. Sure, she does watch cooking programs on and off but you will never find her replicating others'. She cooks from experience and adds her own flair to standard stuff (however, her Hakka heritage shows). She enjoys food/cooking and when the fancy strikes her, has the ability to replicate things she tasted from other restuarants/stalls. In recent years though, she has relegate the cooking responsibilities to her maids and played a much more supervisory role but if the you taste the standard of cooking her maids have, you will have to admit that they have a pretty formidable '师傅'. It is not a coincidence that the maid cooks a great deal better whenever my mom is back in town.

For all her idiosyncracies, her ability to whip up delicious food from scratch without a cookbook, is one which i had hoped i would inherit but i doubt it. What i did inherit though, was the inherent belief that my mom's way, my mom's taste, my mom's cooking processes are the best. Which is why sometimes i am insistent of how certain things should be cooked in the kitchen, becos' that's how my mom would do it.

When i was cooking the 糯米饭, i realized that i am really influenced by her in this aspect. I can actually -see- what she has told me and her, what must have been confusing to others, recipe made perfect sense. That's how it is... and it is these times when i felt closest to my mom even though she is thousands of miles away. I am sure i did not do everything exactly like she said but she has given me enough to let me go on my own, as in all things that she (and of cos' my dad) has given me. There never was a step-by-step manual... just a lot of gist, leaving you the room to figure out the missing bits on your own. You can always clarify but in the end, it's you at the stove and trust that 'you will know, when you see it'.

So how did my 糯米饭turned out? Well let's just say that, though there can always be improvements (and i am sure i will, with time), i don't think i will disappoint the woman who gave me my starting point.

Normality

Now that things are quiet again, Wilk and I spent the morning doing the chores we have neglected to do when his folks were here. It's amazing how much dust/dirt/hair etc we have accumulate over the last 8-9days even though i have been sweeping the floor almost daily when everyone is asleep (That's the only time when people/baby were not underfoot). It was so bad that by the end of the week, everytime Avery crawl on the floor, she was picking up dust balls on her clothing and needed to be dusted off each time we carried her.

The week went by quicker than i anticipated. I dont think i can make a good hostess.. at all. Perhaps i will do a better job if there was only 1 or 2 people visiting at a time. But with 3, i am just too caught up with the logistics (e.g. how to fit everyone plus baby into the car) and feeling claustrophobic with the additional people in the already small apartment. I am not by nature a very sociable person. I can deal with big crowds if i am just a passive 'participant' e.g. part of audience etc. But if i have to actively 'engage'... argh. Really... even weekly marketing in a crowded/noise market can send my stress level shooting up sky high because i have to managed the shopping list, 'force' my way through other shoppers and avoid kicking the shop attendants when they were shouting (cries akin to our 'lelong lelong'). The only way i cope is that i try to tune things/people out. Better yet, try to stand at the most 'isolated' corner of the whole situation. Wilkie thinks that it is funny... well, i don't. When he try to imitate their 'lelong-ing', i almost bit him.

Back to the last week...

It is actually wonderful that we have family visiting, especially for Avery but... still, i found it hard to cope with having more people than our little family in our little bit of space. Seems like the only bit of 'me' space is the chair infront of my laptop... and late at night when others are sleeping. Like i said.. if its only 1, i would have enjoyed the visit alot more. Well, even if its my own folks visiting, i also get into a similar sort of 'stress'... What more, with family, they also have a tendency to... try to 'improve' on what you are doing. Aside from being not very sociable, i also have a distinct independence streak in me (okie, self-centreness) that doesn't tolerate helpful suggestions (okie, interference) very well. Esp when the other parties start to take matters in their own hand. I am still sort of unsure about how i ought to feel... on one hand, i understand and am grateful for 'help', yet i cant help feeling like something is being encroached upon. All in all... aside feeling the claustrophobia, i am feeling a myriad of intense feelings come and go.

Hence it is with a sense of relief, tinge with apologies (for feeling the relief), that life has now gone back to my quiet piece of 'normality'. I think Wilk and Avery definitely enjoyed the visit. Especially Avery, with all the old folks doting on her and carrying her, she is feeling the 'loss' because suddenly she is all clingy and wanting to be carried now that we are back to just being us 3. Sigh... well, that's life. Have to take the good stuff with the bad i guess.

4th year (I think) Wedding Anniversary

My god.. i nearly forgot that today is our wedding anniversary. 09/09/09! (Hmm i did contemplate that we should get married on this date - today! - but then we didn't want to wait another 4 yrs :P).

Actually, can't really blame me.. with trying to sleep-train Avery.. stressing out about the in-laws visit (Argh.. where can i hide the pacifier?! What if Avery cries all the time?! What is she is STILL sick?!?) and her falling ill, i clear forgot that 4yrs ago, this day, me and wilkie got married in the far-flung corner of Spore - Raffles Marina Country Club. Until Wilk reminded me yesterday. hMmm. Me bad.

So what did we do today?

With one sick baby at home, what do you think we did?!

Well, good news is that Avery's fever subsided. But that was before the morning puke (when we fed her medicine), incessant crying in the afternoon, and super-duper super-glue clingy behaviour all day from the little one. I passed out about noon time because i was on night duty last nite (putting cool compress on the bub and adjusting it as she keeps pushing it off) and when i woke up, wilkie was passed out with a sleeping baby on his lap on the sofa. She had been fussing during her nap and refused to be alone. In the evening time, Wilk had to rush to Monash Uni for a postgrad talk while i tried to entertain little bub on my own. She did have a nap, which during that time i had to prepare something appetitising for her dinner because she didn't have much appetite to eat for the last day and half (made her cheesy mash potato/califlower which she liked).

Right on time, as she awoke from her nap (a good hr of so), Wilkie returned home with takeaway jap food from outside the Uni. 3 of us had dinner together and it was nice because the little bub started eating again and almost finished her bowl of mash. Then the 3 of us played "Whack Alfred" where all of us were sitting in a circle, with blanket on our feet and Alfred (Avery's Brobee soft toy) in the middle, each 'whacking' him with a tube of pop-beads. Wilk and I were pretty tickled but Avery was more interested to grab Alfred so that she could chew on his hair. Then another round of medication, which is always a two-men job. One to carry her and one to syringe her. The one carrying her (usually me) normally ends up being puked on but we were lucky that time. After which, it is wipe down, feeding time and putting her to bed.

By the time all that is done... its almost 10pm. And there is no way we can go out for dessert or walk or coffee or... well....

I know it sounds dreary but really, it is not. It is not that the day we got married wasn't worth celebrating but rather, 'celebrations' can take on so many forms and dimensions.

I think that Avery being ok is a celebration.
I think that having someone to count on when dealing with a sick baby is a celebration.
I think that someone cooking lunch for you and then buying take out so that you dont have to worry about cooking dinner while caring for a baby is a celebration.
I think that 3 of us being able to play together is a celebration.
I think that having a chance to watch and laugh at our own baby grow and do silly things is a celebration.
I think that not having the pressure to 'perform' and come up with some spectacular plan for wedding anniversary is a celebration.
I think that the ability to smile ruefully at each other when the little one pukes (for the 2nd time during medicine time) because we each know telepathically that there goes our plan to go out for a family meal, is a celebration.

I think time spent together, as a family, is a celebration.

So happy anniversary dear... :)

Sleeping discontinued... Sick alert.

Avery fell sick right after we embarked on sleep training.

A tiny part of me (and perhaps wilk) is questioning if her fever was brought on by her crying at night (incidentally, right after my last post, she didn't have any major crying, just a few whining cries and felt back asleep on her own.. hmmm). Of course rationally, we know that it's most likely she caught a bug or something. In any case, i hate it when she falls sick even though i know that in a way, its supposed to be good for her. I've read somewhere that its better for kids to fall sick before their first year.. helps to build up their immunity etc. Still... i hate it when it happens. It is quite miserable when she is all lethagic when feverish, and even when temp down, she wasn't as active as before (though she continued to play and 'talk'). At her worst, she would just want to cling to my shoulders and lie there, all 'zoned out'. So for the whole afternoon today she sat cuddled on my lap watching "Sound of Music" with me while i sang her to sleep, which she wouldn't have let me on a typical day.

Since birth, Avery has been pretty blessed in that she did not have much medical issues. Nothing like eczema, sinus, rash (not even diaper rash), cradle cap etc. Nothing that required especial attention anyway. While the old folks felt that she is a bit on the 'small' side, her developmental checks has shown her to be consistently on the 50th percentile on her weight (height had peaked at 75th percentile when she was 6mth). I can count the few times that she has been sick on the fingers of one hand. Her first was a stomach flu which had us scurrying to the A&E at midnight when her temp went up to 39degC. That was back in SG when going to the doc or paed is pretty much the SOP when kids get sick (just check out the lines at those 24hr clinics). But in Melb, that's a different story altogether. Firstly, i dont really see that many GPs here, and i don't think i've seen a 24hr clinic around (except the A&E at the hospitals). What we do have are plenty of pharmacies and each of them comes with at least 1 pharmacist in attendence (not like Guardian back in SG). Even if you were to go to a GP, you will still need to get your prescription at the pharmacy anyway. So i guess most people just head off to the pharmacy and get the pharmacist to recommend something, if they have common ailments.

More than one friend in Melb had also told us that GPs , most of the time, will not give medication to kids anyway, believing that kids will eventually fight off the bug and gain immunity without much medical intervention. Unlike in SG, almost no one i know has a Paed for their kids because GP is good enough and if its REALLY serious, they will then refer you to a specialist (paed). Makes newly arrived SG parents who asked for recommendations for Paeds looked a little bit KS and silly (like yours truly, guilty as charge).

With this fever, it is Avery's 2nd time being sick (fever from vaccination don't quite count since we were anticipating it). The other time was quite a nasty cold (continuous mucus for 1wk and mild fever). Wilk and I are a little bit more prepared mentally this time and did not go into the 'must find a doctor' mode. We just went about as most parents do here in Melb, give the bub doses of Nurofen when her temp hit 38.5degC and sponge her as much as we can when her fever spike. If what other parents advised are true, her fever should subside after 1-2 days. With no other symptoms, i doubt the docs will be able to come up with a diagnosis anyway, other than "looks like a viral fever". Still, we are monitoring and observing her dutifully, watching out for signs that may indicate more serious illnesses (H1N1??). In the meantime, it will just be a little more tiring on us to make sure that she is comfortable by alleviating her temp as much as possible through the night.

Looks like another night of duty for us... Sigh.

Sleeping woes

For a while i contemplated if i should write this here or over at Avery's blog. In the end decided here since she will probably never know the hell she puts me through with her sleeping.

Perhaps i am already considered quite lucky because Avery is pretty regular in her bedtime (9pm, give and take 1/2 hr) and waking-up time (9am, give and take 1/2 hr). She also has an established nap routine (twice a day, once after morning breakfast/shower, once in late afternoon after her snack). She has also started to go to bed when still awake (but drousy) instead of nursing to sleep. My main problem is that nowadays, during the night time, she would get up 3-4 times in the middle of the night, starting from 3am. She is not hungry (i tried feeding her but she nod off after a couple of minutes), not in pain, not hot, not cold.. not in anyway that i could described as 'distressed'. She just wanted to be carried. Patting her in her cot, saying 'shh-shh' (her sleeping cues which i used right from when she is an infant) did not help. She will only stop the moment i carried her in my arms. And if she is not in a deep sleep, i could not put her down because she would start wailing again.

I was at the end of my rope literally. The last couple of weeks once she start this, i could hardly get any good sleep. I would just about drop off into zzz land and there she would start. It was so bad that i started getting headaches and groggy in the day, and needed a nap myself (when she is napping). But i am not good with naps, i wake up even more groggy and my daytime hours are wasted when i could be catching up on my housework or other stuff. Her need to be cuddled in the middle of the night (a couple of times!) is seriously turning my life upside down. I've tried the No-cry sleep solution method but still the same. She was on a pacifier which did helped (she would cry but stop once the paci is in her mouth) but i think this is compounded the issue because she has outgrown her old paci and wouldnt take to the new one (its a different shape). Since i thought it may be a good idea then to just wean her off the paci, i did not try to get more pacifiers for her to 'try out'.

In the end, i let her cry it out last night. My energy was sapped and i was just plain unwilling to carry on the vicious cycle of waking up a few times a night just to carry her. Wilkie just mentioned the other day "May your words be like honey, because someday you may have to eat them". Well... i am eating them. I've said that i couldn't, wouldn't let Avery CIO because it is just plain cruel. Of course, she was much younger than when i said it but really, CIO method doesn't make me feel good AT ALL. I was just too tired to do anything else last night and Avery cried for 1hr before she gradually dropped off to sleep. It was a tough 1 hr as me and wilkie remained wide awake listening to her, wanting desperately to go and soothe her. And a couple of times i nearly did... only to stop myself right at her door because i know the minute i do pick her up, the last 20-30mins was an effort wasted and she would cry even HARDER if we ever try this again. Its like a road of no return that we have embarked on because turning back will just make the matter worse and i will be back living my zombie life again.

It was a long long LONG time (okie, 1 hr but felt damn long) before she cried herself to sleep but after that, she did not wake up again till 9am in the morning. She was all bright and sunny when she woke up, as if the previous night had not happened at all. The only discernable difference is that she napped longer than she had before (almost 2 1/2 hrs when usually she will sleep for 1 1/2hr or so).

So tonight is another night... do i still want to carry on with this method? My brain tells me that i have no choice but to continue this at least for 2-3days to ascertain if its working, if at all (by observing the duration of crying - should be decreasing). After all, as in all behaviour management techniques, a behaviour will always increase first before decreasing when the technique is first applied. If i stop the CIO method now, i wouldn't know if it will really work for her. However, my heart is telling me that the next few days will really hurt and i better brace myself for it (wilkie too) if i am really seriously considering to do this.

It is now 11.01pm. Since her bedtime at 9pm, she had started to cry after an hour and half or so. The first time, i breastfed her because she may not have drank sufficiently during her 9pm feed. But when she cried again at 10.50pm... i continued typing this blog and guess what? She stopped on her own after 10mins. I guess my plan, at least for tonight, is that i will continue to feed her at midnight but try to ignore any other crying till at least 6am. It's cold turkey time. *grim*

In whatever case, i really REALLY hope that we can get through this by next saturday because that's when my MIL and grandMIL are visiting. And i doubt they will like to hear Avery crying or being left to cry alone. Crossing fingers... pls baby.. do it for Mami okie? :P